How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
