these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
