So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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