I'm eating all of the evidence.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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