so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
