if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
