I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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