We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
