p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
