You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
