You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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