so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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