do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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