I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
