For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
