i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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