Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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