I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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