Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So squirting runs in the family.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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