the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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