Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
