can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
