How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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