U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
