She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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