Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
