So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
