no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
