so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
