I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
