just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
