the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
