I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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