Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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