you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
