I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
