i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
