We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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