I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
