I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
