Im at strip club and am horny
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
