guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
