I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
