How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
