Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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