Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
