He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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