no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
