I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
