everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
