Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
