You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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