we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We are all done wearing pants today
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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