Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
